My Wonderful Becca and Beautiful Memories

As most of you know, My wonderful daughter, Becca, is being adopted by my brother Paul and his family. This was not an easy decision to make. She has been living with them while I was homeless (There was no way I would let my daughters be homeless) and while I have struggled with my debilitating chronic fatigue. This fatigue had gotten so bad that my body shuts down and I end up sleeping all the time, though I prayed and prayed to be able to be awake for my daughters. If I kept her, she would be neglected, and there is no way I would let my wonderful Becca be neglected.

So I asked Paul and Denise if they would keep her longer. She had become a part of their family and they loved her and wanted to keep her. I talk to her all the time on the phone. I miss her and love her so much!!! But I have had to think of what is best for Becca. She is getting wonderful care there, and is very attached to her little cousins.

When I was asked if they may adopt her and have her sealed to them, it was emotionally difficult, because I love her so. But I prayed and prayed and the answer was to let this happen. I trust my Heavenly Father and know that he knows and can see all things. So I agreed based on my prayers. I talked to Becca and wanted her to know that I was doing this out of a great love for her and deep pondering and prayer with my Heavenly Father. And many tears.

The adoption will most likely be finalized on Monday June 8th.

So now, though I cry that she is leaving our family, I smile because of the wonderful memories we shared together.

Becca, I remember when we would wait at the bus stop for your kindergarten bus to pick you up. It was so fun because we got to spend time together just you and me. There was a foot stump there that looked like a foot without the toes. so every day we would find rocks the right size to make toes. By the next day the toes would be missing because of foot traffic, so we got to do it all over again. We both loved it.

It was also fun to spend the half of the day that Kylee was in school and you weren't, we would swing on the swing set, take walks to parks, look at the clouds, enjoy all the beauty of outside, and of course - make things together.

We would often go to Newport Beach. We would walk on the pier together. We would build sand castles. And there was a fun playground with a train in it that you could go in and look out the windows at me and wave.

You have always been so smart and serious about school. It was fun when I got to walk you to your school and eat blackberries, and point out things we liked, talked about dreams we had, and
even just be silly. But when you got to school, you were a serious student, and you always have been. Even when you got home you delved right into your homework, and even added more to it.

There are so many other memories too. But this post is getting long. I just want to tell everyone, especially Becca, How I love her, how I miss her, and that I will still always be her mom.

So smile with me about the happy memories we share. These are to keep as Becca goes on to a new family, she can always look back at good times with her old one.